As I look back on My Life

I saw this quote the other day and I thought you may find inspiration in it as I have.

As I look back on my life,

I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected for something good,

I was actually being redirected to something better.

As we get older we are more likely to see these patterns, but when we're younger they are devastating to our self-esteem, goals, and expectations. Over the years I have been turned down for promotions, not gotten that dream job, and not been able to move to that great place in the USA where all my troubles would fade away. 

Life can be tough when we have our hearts set on a possible outcome and then life throws an obstacle in our path. There are two things that we need to realize when this occurs. 

1. What was the real reason I was rejected at this time?
2. What can I do to move forward?

If you are denied a prized position it's important to take a moment after your emotions have settled down to re-evaluate why you didn't receive what you wanted. Why did you not get that position? Don't immediately fall back on your biases. Because I'm a woman, because I'm Hispanic, because I'm ugly, because he doesn't like me, because I'm not the owner's son, or because I'm too young or too old.

Those might be the reasons, I'm not naive enough to think those things don't happen, but there might be other explanations. Sometimes the outside candidate brings a level of knowledge about other systems that management thinks are important and can help the company transition to, even though someone will have to train her on your current internal systems.

Yes, you have a bachelor's degree, but even though you have the knowledge to do the job, they still require someone with a master's degree. A good look at this is within the library systems across the nation and the skillsets they desire their candidates to have sometimes come with a desire to hire someone with a Master of Fine Arts degree. Who am I to say that the job can be done by a person with a measly bachelor of science degree?

Even though, we all think we're the best employees in our job at that company and the company doesn't run without us there, management doesn't always agree with that assessment. I've known programmers that can literally do the job of four people all by themselves, but their attitudes and unwillingness to compromise over small issues, make them unsuitable to go to the next level. Who wants someone in the management meetings that will fight every minor issue until they get their way?

• Do you show up on time?
• Do you leave early?
• Are you always making excuses for why you didn't turn in your projects on time?
• Are you unwilling to help co-workers?
• Are you acting professional?
• Are you calling in sick too much?

You might say, I'm not that person, or I have legitimate reasons why I can't get there at the proper time. They know that about me and it has to do with my children or grandparents or elderly parents.

Would you hire a babysitter that showed up a half-hour late everyday and always left early, no matter what time you said you'd be home?

Eventually your children will get old enough for you to be more professional with your work hours or give you more opportunities to volunteer for important projects that require additional non-standard work hours.

Try to be a team player, smile often, don't be hard to work with, and don't sweat the small stuff. I argued once with my manager because I thought my solution to a problem was a better solution than hers, and I told her that. Her answer, "Do it my way, I'm the boss."

None of us have all the answers. Sometimes you just have to realize that you can't reach your goals in your current job, no matter how much you enjoy it's location close to home, how much you like your co-workers, or the work you do. You have to be willing to cut ties and move on to that next opportunity.

My father worked at two companies his entire life. I had five different careers with five different companies. Whose life was better? He went from the factory floor to become a blue-collar worker. At age 56, he started doing CAD/CAM design on computers.

I started at the post office. After ten years I went into project management for a direct mail firm, learned computers, and then kept growing my skillsets over the years and advancing in knowledge and titles. The direct mail firm position wouldn't have been possible five years earlier or if I hadn't worked for the USPS. I wouldn't have needed to learn how to program, if I had never left the post office and worked for the direct mail firm.

You reach for a goal and as you take that next step, you find that you can reach a little further.

Last piece of advice, don't think you know everything. You might be an expert at your current company, but if you aren't growing, learning something new, staying up with technology, or getting new degrees, then you are losing ground with your peers.

After a discouragement.

• Stay calm.
• Don't say something that will bite you in the future.
• Evaluate other reasons why you didn't get what you wanted and work to improve those areas.
• Work on new skills
• Look at other opportunities, elsewhere.

You might find two years later, that another opportunity presents itself and because you missed the previous one, you developed skills or made connections that makes you the right person at this time for that opportunity.

Good Luck!